Logic has no imagination "Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?

"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada

"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant

"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan

only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"

- Nike

"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."

"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means

And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams

I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight


You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean


And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Friday, August 31, 2007

this week has flown by

why do weeks of fun fly by?

why do weeks of hell grind by?

it's the end of another era...

summer is what you make of it

life is what you make of it

no guts, no glory.

....no guts


posted by jonathan at 1:19 p.m. ||

seems like everyone is unhappy these days

what can i do to make ppl more happy...


posted by jonathan at 1:53 a.m. ||

Thursday, August 30, 2007

laziness is an obstacle

lack of guts is an obstacle too

i dont deserve anything do i..


she's like.. so whatever...


posted by jonathan at 6:46 p.m. ||

Friday, August 24, 2007

yesterday, i told coworker#1 that i was sad seeing coworker#2 being so sad...

then coworker#1 told me that her and coworker#2 were sad when they saw me sad in the past 6 months...

that never occurred to me... i was very touched...

and thats why it's hard to say goodbye


posted by jonathan at 12:42 a.m. ||

Thursday, August 23, 2007

just once, i'd like to have the guts to do it

it's good to talk, but i'd like to actually do something next time..

currently a wimp


posted by jonathan at 12:30 a.m. ||

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

i am sick of doing my best and failing

this lesson is hard to learn.. keeps getting reinforced...


if you dont constantly improve and evolve, you will be obsolete

some ppl are obsolete without knowing it.

thats why successful businesses go bankrupt or need to restructure... they go with the winning formula from 40 years ago.. that same formula is obsolete today... except they wont accept that it's a failure until they see everything around them collapse

you are obsolete. learn to improve and evolve. your way is not the right way, no matter how much you think it is


posted by jonathan at 1:15 a.m. ||

Friday, August 17, 2007

im so sick and tired of being uninspired
that i wish that i could just live and get fired
up so that i can just be me:
i just want to be happy


story needs editing... never appreciated art like that before.. can take it in so many ways.. but being pressured to make it a short story, ha


posted by jonathan at 2:26 p.m. ||

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

once there was a car driving along a road.. the road lead uphill to a mountain, where the ultimate prize laid

there was one driver and one passenger

the car ride was smooth and fun for a long time. along the way, the driver stopped for a bathroom break

when the driver returned, the driver sat in a passenger seat. surprisingly, the driver, now a passenger, and the other passenger didnt notice the car was not moving towards the ultimate prize. they were still having fun just being in the car, even though the driver became a passenger but was unaware of it

sometime passed and the original passenger finally realized the car was idle and not moving. the passenger tried to tell the driver it was idle but the driver couldnt comprehend. the driver was in la la land and was dreaming that the car was moving towards the path. the passenger had a choice to make. stay in the car and hope for the driver to wake up or get out of the car and hop on to a next one.

after debating for a while, the passenger rushes out of the car and points the thumb looking to hitchhike. little did those 2 know, there was a car tailgating them the whole way. and when the original car idled, that car idled too.. stalking them from a distance... when the passenger rushed out, the car immediately rushed to pick the passenger up... the passenger hurried in, since the passenger missed being in a car

meanwhile, the driver didnt know what hit him.... tried to find the lost passenger for the longest time but couldnt... then he realized the passenger hitchhiked on to a fancy looking car with a crappy engine that would make break down at any moment......

that was headed in the wrong direction, driving down the mountain at an alarming pace... away from the prize


posted by jonathan at 1:07 a.m. ||

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

the fire burns within

but no one sees the flames

let it burn?

or throw water on it?


posted by jonathan at 5:26 p.m. ||

Sunday, August 12, 2007

everything was better yesterday


posted by jonathan at 2:08 a.m. ||

feel like crap

feel miserable

but happy for others

if you had to choose between being the only person happy in the world or being the only miserable person in the world, while every single other person is happy... what would you choose?

lemme tell you, the latter seems like a pretty crappy option at times


posted by jonathan at 1:58 a.m. ||

Saturday, August 11, 2007


what can fill this?

i know, but i dont want to admit it


posted by jonathan at 12:46 p.m. ||

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

my head is spinning

im thinking WAY too much for my own good

brain, just shut it down... wrap it up!

stop thinking!

go away!

thoughts are scary


posted by jonathan at 12:48 a.m. ||

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

i can lie through my teeth without blinking.

it's a skill

i've used it recently

though i didnt want to


for the greater good...

i think?

one day, the truth will come out. but i dont think anyone should be surprised


posted by jonathan at 10:31 p.m. ||

Monday, August 06, 2007

im emotionally drained

energy meter at 0.0000


posted by jonathan at 8:13 p.m. ||

Saturday, August 04, 2007


big day tomorrow... but im not.... worried... just procrastinating.. dunno why

summer is winding down.. where did the time go?

still plenty of unfinished business though..

not really caught at a crossroad... kinda caught in.... black air.. middle of nowhere...no man's land.. directionless in a way

fatigued possibly...

my body doesnt need sleep

my brain does

my brain needs a vacation


posted by jonathan at 10:13 p.m. ||

Friday, August 03, 2007

some ppl dont try hard at what they do because they believe it wont matter in the end.

for example, some ppl dont care about getting A's in school because in the end, their diploma will be the same as everyone else's... their diploma wont list their grade..

but why does it matter...

why are ppl ok with not doing your best.. just because no one sees it? God sees all. but even ignoring that, the satisfaction of doing your best is better than the feeling of slacking and not giving it your all.. you're being unfair to yourself.. be accountable to yourself. if you cant do that, then what can you do.

i want to be able to look in the mirror every morning and say, i did my best. even though the feeling of failure sucks, i know i wont have the feeling of regret later on.. playing 'what ifs' in my mind over and over again

and that is why it haunts me the most. i did not do my best. was it subconciously on purpose? i dont know.


posted by jonathan at 12:00 a.m. ||

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

motivation... comes from within...

Ford, you are funny and right...

you have to WANT it on the inside...

no amount of external motivation (e.g. money, girls, fame, etc.) can make someone do something... the desire must be in them. or else they just wont do it...

this is why athletes arent willing to work hard even though they get paid millions. they dont WANT it anymore... they're not motivated for whatever reason... it's not cause they're jackasses... i feel for them.. i can relate...

that is what was wrong with me.

it has all changed.

i WANT it.

it's within me

i might lose a million battles along the way. but i will win the war


posted by jonathan at 8:31 p.m. ||

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