Logic has no imagination "Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?

"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada

"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant

"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan

only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"

- Nike

"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."

"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means

And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams

I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight


You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean


And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Sunday, June 08, 2003

the zone: the term used to describe the time where the runner is running at a comfortable relaxed pace such that it feels like the runner can run on forever at that place and where the mind is blank and clear of any distractions in life

the zone...i experience it whenever i run for a long distance.. just yesterday, i ran my usual route in 44mins 36secs.. about 9-10kms.. bout a min SLOWER than i ran a month ago... which aint good.. i'm physically deteriorating... or i'm really outta shape, even though i have gym class each morning at school.....

but back to the ZONE, the zone is no good i just figured out.. if i run into the zone, that means i'm running at too comfortable of a pace, which is no good.. i must push myself harder, and that means escaping the zone... i must take risks.. if i dont take risks, i cant improve.. if that means running harder and faster in the beginning and throughout, then i must try it.. i may not be able to finish as strongly or last long at that pace, but it's a step towards improvement.. if i keep in the zone, i wont improve.. if i keep pushing myself each time i run, i will definitely improve, unless i get worse and worse physically...

NEXT GOAL: run my route in 40mins, with the last section in 5mins flat

but obviously the zone extends beyond running, it can be related to life.. a conservative person or a person who likes life the way it is for them right now will want to stay in their zone and not take risks and risk leaving/losing the zone.. i used to be a conservative person, but now, i'm moving towards breaking through the zone.. i'm risking a lot by doing this, but i want the chance to improve myself, the chance to change what's around me... i dont want to be stuck in THIS state.. this state SUCKS...

posted by jonathan at 9:35 PM ||

Friday, June 06, 2003

i'm in such a PISSED OFF mood right now.... shall i be vent and go crazy or shall i remain silent and die a mental death

life is such a piss off at times....why do we exist....maybe i shouldnt generalize.... why do *I* exist? i havent been happy in a longgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time.... i've been happy TWICE so far in 2003....may16-19 and may 30th.... birthday weekend and prom night.... those were the times....i was actually truly happy....

and now,i'm here......calc test today? failed it... uni? rejected.... friends? limited.... parents? asses.... girls? lets not go there....i have a million ways to describe that.... religion? only thing preventing me from dying...... myself? i hate myself.....

why do ppl feel that they can judge me correctly without knowing me? why do ppl doubt me? why dont ppl trust me? why do ppl blame me? why are ppl cruel to me? why are ppl nice to me? why do ppl bother me? why do ppl ignore me? why do ppl hate me? why do ppl hurt me?

those who judge me, fuck you.... those who doubt me, you wont doubt me again.... those who dont trust me, you dont have my trust neither.... those who blame me, you just need an excuse for being wrong... those who are cruel to me, dont complain when i'm cruel to you.... those who are nice to me, thank you.... those who bother me, dont be surprised when i give you a piece of my mind.... those who ignore me, why?.... those who hate me, i probably hate you... those who hurt me, i will never forget....

i need to get fit for the summer.... my exercise program will consist of running, basketball, tennis, softball, and possibly working out.... my sleeping hours will be for 12 hrs at least.... my stressing topics will be on university, friends, and girls...

anyways.... universities....equal change.... and i dont like change.... i dont like the fact i dont get to see a lot of my friends... when i mean friends,i mean real friends... i havent even decided where i'm going...... mcmaster or downtown ut? res or no res... recognition or no recognition...

the world seems to collapse on me all at once.... june 5th, 2003.... i'll mark this day down as one of the worst in my life.... along with may 14th,1997... may 17th, 1997... august 10th, 2000.... september 6th, 2000.... and a few others... but of course,my memory sucks... my short-term memory is absolutely horrible and my long-term memory is only a bit better....i didnt even remember it was my friend's bday yesterday... i'm pretty pissed at myself for that.... i cant even remember a few thigns for calculus after studying until 3am in the morning which was my 7th hour of studying.... why study 7 hours and still fail a test? i just wasted 7 hours of my life....

posted by jonathan at 12:29 AM ||

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