Logic has no imagination "Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?

"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada

"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant

"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan

only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"

- Nike

"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."

"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means

And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams

I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight


You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean


And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Sunday, March 28, 2004

so many things have happened recently.... too many to state... but... just wanna say anger's not the solution... and.. i love it when im given opportunities to correct my past faults...

cecilia zhang was found dead... there's just so many obvious things wrong with this that i dont wanna bother stating em... i just cant figure out the reason behind it... but i've talked to some ppl and we've concluded that stuff happens behind the scenes.. =(

i was elected to committee saturday round noon time... my name was the last name announced.. it felt like i was holding my breath for 10mins... and when my name was announced i just breathed out... that was a... anxious moment for me... maybe God wants me in a leadership position after all... hmmm...


posted by jonathan at 9:52 p.m. ||

Sunday, March 14, 2004

there's something about rain that i love...

misting, pouring, drizzling, scattering.. it doesnt matter.. i love it.. my mood's the best (not happiest, just the best) when it's raining...


posted by jonathan at 9:08 p.m. ||

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

why does the year matter... does the fact that it's currently 2004 mean anything.. well, yes, i know it means something, but what i really wanna say is.. does a new year mean we have to act differently at all... there's no correlation between the year and our behaviour... behaviour's not a trend... act how you wanna act... do what's natural... there's no type of behaviour that is 'out of date'... who cares.. 2004 is just a number... why does your behaviour have to change depending if it's the year 2004 or 1473.. sometimes you make life harder on yourself... dont blame others..


posted by jonathan at 3:38 p.m. ||

Monday, March 08, 2004

i watched The Passion of the Christ yesterday...

sometimes we have to confront our fears...

i dont understand how a certain person would wanna watch "Battle Royale" rather than The Passion of the Christ.. it's just my opinion.. it means nothing.. i have no right to judge.. but i feel that when the opportunity arises, you have to make the best of it... the small group is going, so you might as well go as well... screw you and your Battle Royale..


posted by jonathan at 9:22 p.m. ||

Saturday, March 06, 2004

yesterday was one LONG day... VERY VERY long...

wake up for 830 tutorial.. breakfast... skip calc and study.. more study.. worry.. worry some more.. procrastinate some.. went to psych tutorial to figure out group stuff... got lunch... worried the life out of me.. worried and studied at same time.. wrote midterm.. bumped into friends from utm.. treated them to dinner.. went and practiced.. changed... anxiety level at 110%... SHOWTIME..

i was so worried this whole week bout my midterm and the coffeehouse being on the same day.. i figured if i spent too much time on one, i wouldnt have enough time on the other.. but we have to make time right? errr... hopefully ppl enjoyed coffeehouse.. my midterm went ok.. but the coffeehouse was a greater priority to me for some weird reason.. i really wanted it to go well.. im glad my friends came up and supported and surprised me, ha... i couldnt've done it without everybody's support.. everybody's hugs and words of encouragement.. i was just really... thankful.. i'm very grateful for Gary for sharing his story with everybody...

i can really relate to Gary.. because.. well... part of his story was part of my story.. i was just trying to act like myself out there.. because i've been there... and sometimes.. still there.. so i guess i did a bad job acting as myself.. oh well...

hopefully coffeehouse was a great success... i wasnt part of the audience (in a way i was i guess) so i cant look at it from an objective point of view.. but i really really really wanted it to be successful =)...

it was full of inside jokes.. hopefully some ppl picked up, haha... the first thing everybody said to me was... "YO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SWEAR WHEN YOU SAID 'what the ffffREAK..." hah...

........and i got my blood test results from my doc today... had to do another bloodtest =|

posted by jonathan at 9:51 p.m. ||

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

it's funny... quite humourous when ppl like to think they've "educated" or "taught" others a "lesson"... they believe they've achieved something when they havent... they believe that... they've opened the minds of others.. it's really funny.. they believe that they are BETTER and SMARTER than others so they should tell others what to believe... what to think... how to act... quite funny, yes.. all these ppl do is boost their own ego... nothing else was achieved.. of course they'll deny it, it's human nature... a defensive mechanism...


posted by jonathan at 4:56 p.m. ||

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

i challenge you all to solve this game... The Crimson Room

took me 45mins... ~sigh~


posted by jonathan at 5:26 p.m. ||

i cant do this
i just cant do this

i'm letting my frustration getting the best of me.. i just cant do this anymore..

i dont know how im gonna pull it off friday at the coffeehouse.. i got nothing...

i have a midterm i'm dead for, an essay im dead for, a big part in the coffeehouse in which i just cant pull it off..

"with Christ in my vessel i can smile at the storm, smile at the storm, smile at the storm
with Christ in my vessel i can smile at the storm, till he guides me home"

im not letting Christ into my vessel.. im blocking him out.. i dont know why.. i just cant do it for some reason.. my vessel's empty.. this lethargicness has knocked me out and taken me over and possessed me.. im as good as dead..

i just cant take failure.. yet it's looking me straight in the eye and laughing at me, and i'm hopeless by myself..


posted by jonathan at 12:21 a.m. ||

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