Logic has no imagination "Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?

"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada

"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant

"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan

only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"

- Nike

"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."

"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means

And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams

I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight


You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean


And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Monday, April 28, 2003

ive learned so much about myself these past days
everything around me, concrete and abstract, decays
everyday there is endless sorrow
sometimes i wanna cry like im on death row
im glad that a problem has been resolved
im glad a friendship hasnt dissolved
but for every problem solved, another arises
am i just another guy that everybody despises?
you think you know people, but remember, life is full of surprises
just come out and say it to my face, dont hide under those disguises
sometimes i stress over it, like its anorexia
am i a spider? cause she got arachnophobia
sometimes she hides away as far as southeast asia
is this a feat or fate? does it matter if i have dyslexia?

posted by jonathan at 12:26 a.m. ||

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

while venturing on to icq for the first time in 5 days or so, i randomly updated a few ppl's info, and i found this quote:

"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."
-Abraham Lincoln-

posted by jonathan at 9:43 p.m. ||

Monday, April 21, 2003

taken from Eminem - When the Music Stops

Fuck with me now, bitch, let's see you freestyle
Talk is cheap, motherfucker if you're really feeling froggish, leap

Man I hate this crap, this ain't rap,
This is crazy the way we act

It hurts when you see your friends turn their back on you dawg
When you ain't got nothing left but your word and your balls

If my funeral's tomorrow, wonder if they would even call when the music stops

posted by jonathan at 11:17 p.m. ||

"For those who believe, no proof is necessary.
For those who don`t, no proof is possible."

i think this basically summarizes everything....

posted by jonathan at 8:07 p.m. ||

Sunday, April 20, 2003

it's been almost three years
i remember that i shed a few tears
you said you liked me but then you disappeared
i've been deceiving myself into believing i like others, though deep down i was waiting for you, but you never reappeared
when i saw you yesterday, i recalled our friendship in the making
i thought we had fun and good times, i hope you werent faking
i know you'll probably never read this cause we've basically lost all contact
somehow, in a matter of a few weeks, our friendship wasnt even intact
so why am i writing this you ask yourself
cause i have all these thoughts and emotions in my head and heart with no way to express myself
she'll probably never talk to me again, even though why she stopped i dont understand
i dont want her to deliberately avoid me again

posted by jonathan at 12:32 a.m. ||

time is ticking away
why have things all gone astray?
it wasnt supposed to be this way, not in our last year together
is our friendship strong like a rock, or weak like a feather?
i need to take a break to reflect upon everything
am i able to justify some things that i've said or done? anything?
how could i have given my friends the impression that i'm too good for them
i never intended for this but i dont blame them for being so sick of me that they're coughing up phlegm
obviously it's my problem not theirs
but i'm saddened by the fact that all i receive now are glares
how could i let this happen?
i remember listening to eminem rappin
everyday after school i would fall asleep nappin
and the next thing i know, you were mad at me snappin

posted by jonathan at 12:13 a.m. ||

Saturday, April 19, 2003

its amazing that when I reach out to the Lord, He always responds. I'm in a very down mood right now but I went to church for Good Friday service yesterday and it was great. The ppl there are amazing. Just being around them lifts my spirits. I also found out something very important yesterday. I found out who she is. I've been searching for a while but she's been in front of my face all this time, but I doubt it can happen, cause it didnt work out last time....
Talking to Scott today was very helpful. A bonding session? haha....

posted by jonathan at 7:18 p.m. ||

Friday, April 18, 2003

it is not very difficult to know that, in fact it's disgustingly evident that this world is superficial
what if i were to tell all of you that my ugliness is only artificial?
that i'm not who you ppl really think i am, would you ppl crawl back?
or would you ppl run back because i was lying and attack?
do you ppl have compassion or are you ppl cold-blooded?
would i be filled with admiration or with hate that it would be overflooded
im not sure, im so dazed and confused
im not sure if id be welcomed or refused

posted by jonathan at 2:00 a.m. ||

there is nothing to smile at, nothing to laugh at
there is nothing to cheer about, there's a problem no doubt
i dont really know what happened but the only thing i know is that i may have lost a friend
is this deja vu all over again? the beginning of another end?
i have no clue, i dont even have a chance to defend
all i know is that i didnt mean to offend
this may be another lesson to me through this journey in life
i've been through everything, even being stabbed in the back by close ones with a knife
is now the time to reflect? no, the blame will not deflect
i must seek and learn the ultimate personal effect

posted by jonathan at 1:51 a.m. ||

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

I cant stand mediocrity
I need to achieve more than socretes
But i dont know if i have the intelligence
Im just a lazy ass with no diligence
Everybody works harder and harder
Not me, im gonna work smarter and smarter
All you people who diss and look down on me now
Im gonna get revenge on as many as God will allow

posted by jonathan at 10:08 p.m. ||

I really dont see the problem
Why are we arguing and getting pissed over them?
Theyre your friends, i dont mind
I chose to retreat, really, im fine
You wanted to invite everybody, you were kind
But you knew that would make more than nine
Your list is good, theyre your friends, it doesnt need to be refined
We'll still have a good time, why the hate? lets rewind
There was probably some misunderstanding
I realize that school can be damanding
But dont act like i was commanding you what what to do
Buddy, i wasnt, is there some explaining for me to do?
Why let prom be a bad time?
We're already getting scammed for every dime
You wouldnt want to sit with people you hate
Besides, i dont think you made enough room for everybodys date
I could be wrong, im only sometimes right
Correct me if you want to, gimme some insight
Some people say i should apologize cause you were offended
But i wont, maybe i was just wrongly comprehended

posted by jonathan at 10:06 p.m. ||

Why is everybody hiding from me like im from mars?
Just because im chinese, i have sars?
That type of stereotyping should put you behind bars
Better yet, go get hit by 10000 cars, then youll be seeing stars
Racial discriminating aint cool, itll give ppl eternal scars

posted by jonathan at 10:02 p.m. ||

It seems that im never understood
You people look at me like im from the hood
I didnt build my house from scrap pieces of wood
You didnt make the effort to know me, you coulda
Coulda, woulda, shoulda
Life is full of mistakes, you cant change the past
If i could, i wouldnt be an outcast
To know all these jackasses? ill pass
I wouldnt be alone, my days would fly by twice as fast

posted by jonathan at 10:01 p.m. ||

Sunday, April 06, 2003

ok, i know vince carter is injured
but all you 'fans' and 'people who know basketball' know SHIT
how the hell can you say vince is fragile when he played all 4 years of high school, 3,4 years of college and the first few years of the NBA without injury? thats about 10 years.. he freaking landed on his ankle, gimme a break, if anyone of you idiots landed on your ankle, you'd be crying like babies. all you guys seem to think is 'what have you done for me lately?' all of you are caught up in kobe putting up numbers. but the fact is: kobe is a loser. enough digressing, back to vince, you guys dont seem to remember that you were all his 'biggest fans' when he carried the raps to the playoffs a few years ago. and last year, when you guys said the raps got in without vince and were better without him, you guys seemed to have forgotten that vince won 30 of the 40 games for them before getting injured. and he got injured DRIVING TO THE BASKET against tim duncan, so that puts down all your 'vince doesnt drive to the basket' arguments. you guys are such bandwagons, i dont know why i keep trying to argue some sense into you people who lack common sense. but i keep standing up for vince, and i always will...
how can you ppl compare him to grant hill? grant hill injured his ankle and hasnt played for 3 years, and vince injured his knee last year. this is his first ankle injury. he landed on another player's foot, do you that's avoidable? of course, dont jump, right? fuck you
fuck you all who know nothing

posted by jonathan at 8:41 p.m. ||

Thursday, April 03, 2003

My life is like a pit
I'm in a deep hole failing to climb back up, but i just won't quit
You can hit me with your wit
Your words may hurt a little bit but i won't submit
I've never been deemed lovely, I'll admit
But being called as ugly as an armpit, that would fit, that's legit
But shit, my wrists won't be slit
Sure I got a zit or two or three
Does that make you better than me?
I thought this damn world was just damn free
As Nas says, I can be what I wanna be
And you can see what you wanna see
But dont judge me if you dont know me
You can't test me so don't jump up with glee
Don't challenge me if you're not willing to pay the fee
The price of being humiliated, we wouldn't want that would we?
Your ego will be deflated from the size of the sea to a pea to a flea
So don't contest, that is the key, you fucking she-he

posted by jonathan at 8:52 p.m. ||

Fellow blogwhores:

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- b.m. -

- g.s. -

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- j.t. -

- s.w. -

- a.w. -

- j.y. -

- devos -

- raisingthevillage -

- Manic Drive -

- my xanga -

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