Logic has no imagination "Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?

"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada

"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant

"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan

only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"

- Nike

"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."

"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means

And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams

I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight


You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean


And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Saturday, December 31, 2005

...im tired of this... i really am... hurts me more than anyone thinks...

in all honesty, i dont get this upset ever... i may show that im upset once in a while but it usually doesnt really affect me this much... i just blow it out of proportion.. play to the crowd if you will... it's part of my character that i have to show...

but this... this is not an actor.. this is just pure pain...


posted by jonathan at 11:40 a.m. ||

Sunday, December 25, 2005

i think i have a jealousy problem... get jealous too easily... suspicion just needs to arise for me to get jealous or get pissed... i have too great a thirst for knowledge... and i like to assume too much... i hate it, but i guess i live life under paranoia at times... it's kinda ridiculous...

there's so much stuff i dont know.. and i want to know, but dont wanna know at the same time.. i fear the truth... the past is not supposed to haunt us... not talking bout my personal past... damn it... but if a person is a total idiot in the past, isnt it likely that the same person will be a total idiot in the future?

if a person went out with a total retard and did retarded shit, whats the chances that the person would go out with a total retard in the future and do retarded shit in the future? random speculation and assumptions..

i get angry just thinking, not even knowing... this isnt healthy... i dont want to know... but i need to know... just to satisfy the brain...

how awkward would it be to ask about the past about ppl... ppl's past interest me a lot... do ppl always learn from the past? should they be judged based on their past? if not, what can they be judged on? shouldnt judge ppl? why not? what if i need to... whats the solution.. if i have to judge.. what do i judge ppl on.. their actions, their history, or their potential? a combination? good potential, alright actions, bad history.. whats the conclusion to this combination?

i need to train my mind to think...

i need to train my body to endure hardship...

it's Christmas, i can dream... and bitch.. just not.. good

Merry Christmas


posted by jonathan at 10:37 p.m. ||

Thursday, December 22, 2005

so... im done my Christmas shopping...

but... i dont think ppl really liked the gifts i gave them.... i guess money doesnt ensure satisfaction.. i spent $300 in 2 days! just buying presents! (1 for me, hahaha)

oh well, i tried

in other news.. 1 mark has been received...
4 more to go...
not on MUGSI though

i want a better cell phone plannnnnnn.. retentions.. retentions... gotta keep calling and get the right person who will give me everythinggggggg


posted by jonathan at 5:40 p.m. ||

Monday, December 19, 2005

my calves are cramped...
an ass muscle hurts...
im stiff..
i've done nothing today...
didnt enjoy bball yesterday...
if you're gonna go play ball, go play ball.. it's not a social event.. just play
i also sucked.. 2 months rust is not an excuse.. i didnt see the court well.. i was a step slow.. and i just.... didnt have fun...

weird... im breaking down.. getting old... not enjoying things the same way? i dunno.. maybe i just need to get back into shape and play some good ball...

need to start on angels & demons..
need to update resume...
need to apply to internship..
need to Christmas shop..

currently... done nothing


posted by jonathan at 5:08 p.m. ||

Thursday, December 15, 2005

that was the biggest grind ever... no, not the clubbing grind... in the exam room... literally, 1 question at a time... on question 30 at the halfway mark... thats how long it was.. got stronger as the exam went on though... accounting was still harder.. i dont think i'll ever find a harder exam than accounting.. other than next term's accounting...

1 12 down...
1 possible 12 down...
1 11 or 12 down....

1 12 to go....

and the other course? i have nooooooooo clue

random story... while i was writing my exam today, i heard the guy to the left of me keep sniffling.. im like... maybe he needs a tissue.. i look to my left... he had the BIGGEST yellow pleghm hanging from his nose.. i was SOOOOOOOOO disgusted... he wiped it away 20mins later and then it came back. this went on for 2 hours.. i was so glad when he finished and had the last hour in peace... that really.. distracted me... it was so disgusting... i just... didnt look to my left for the longest time...


posted by jonathan at 9:21 a.m. ||

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

this is gonna suck.... BIG TIME


posted by jonathan at 11:34 p.m. ||

Monday, December 12, 2005

i've never sworn at myself more than this 3 hour period..... my accounting exam was brutal.... i think i got runover by the hao train... the HT Hao train... he's a funny prof though, i enjoy his classes... but that was a damn hard exam... accounting gets harder and harder.. is it really for me? my mark dictates my future...

1 12 down
1 possible 12 down
2 12's to go...

4 days to go....

blah, im neither confident nor demoralized by this exam... if i do poorly... maybe i need to ponder about my future some more...


posted by jonathan at 9:42 p.m. ||

Sunday, December 11, 2005

something is wrong..... but i cant put my finger on it... it's not explicit... but i feel it... i really really feel it.. and it's coming at the worst time possible... so... this leaves me terribly confused... possibly worried...


posted by jonathan at 12:24 a.m. ||

Saturday, December 10, 2005

http://cancerconcert.no-ip.info/index.htm - Concert for Cancer
please consider going

so, first exam done... one 12 down, 3 to go....

i need to work harder for accounting on monday.. the most important course i've had to date.. i need a 12 in it.. i need ittttttttt... i wanttttttt ittttttttt... i dont deserveeeeeeeee it


posted by jonathan at 5:08 p.m. ||

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

i forgot that eminem's cd was released today...

oh my goodness

i cant believe i forgot.. i believe the facts now.. not sleeping does make you forgetful... so why do ppl pull all nighters for exams? they wont be able to remember much of it anyways? (i've done that before).. why not just go to sleep? at least you'll feel better the next day...

OR... we should all just study earlier... note to self...



posted by jonathan at 10:48 p.m. ||

Monday, December 05, 2005

it's 6:20 am, someone hurt me please....

i havent slept yet

im going to be jet lagged... just in time for exams



posted by jonathan at 6:19 a.m. ||

Sunday, December 04, 2005

so my dilemna is....

do i play sports and end my life early...

or do i go crazy and end my life early by not playing sports...


posted by jonathan at 12:53 p.m. ||


see... this is disturbing... and makes eminem to be worse out than he really is... eminem does NOT promote anything like this... listen to his songs... pay attention the lyrics..

these are NOT fans... these are just crazy demented ppl who need an excuse to do bad...

2 days till the album comes out, last one, im sure... i'll travel far to get it..


posted by jonathan at 12:19 a.m. ||

Saturday, December 03, 2005

i have 24 to 48 hours to edit 35 pages of crap....

i lack initiative.. damn

i need new wrists and new ankles please...


posted by jonathan at 4:52 p.m. ||

Friday, December 02, 2005

so good luck... some random chance of occurence.... so in our favour...

so... why do ppl say it before tests? we need a random chance of occurence that the prof would've given us the easiest questions? that we will remember all the questions?? i dont believe it's applicable at all in this context... unless good luck means that they hope that the random chance of your chair collapsing, with you banging your head on the desk and getting a concussion, does not happen...

so when is 'good luck' applicable?? and even where the situation requires it, does SAYING it actually do anything? can we actually get 'luck' on our side if we just say 'good luck'.. or is it the generic phase that i say it is... along the lines of 'it's ok', 'no worries', etc. etc. etc.....

on another note....

dont give me bullshit... im quite the bullshit detector.. when ppl bullshit me, i'm insulted and hurt... bullshit will be reciprocated


posted by jonathan at 4:17 p.m. ||

Thursday, December 01, 2005

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back

i remember why eminem rules again =)

things arent going my way these days... that's alright.. law of averages... 'luck' to some.. what the hell does luck mean anyways when ppl say 'good luck'?

what the hell is good luck? when we were getting our tests back today, when someone's name was called and they went to the front to pick it up, the person beside them said 'good luck'... what the hell is good luck? luck is involved? how? i HATE it when ppl say 'good luck' to me.. im sure they mean well.. but... honestly, what the hell does it mean... i dont believe in luck...

do they mean i need all the luck i can get? or that luck be on my side incase im in trouble? can someone clarify?

it's such a generic phase, it's so overused...

no words are better than meaningless words


posted by jonathan at 11:37 p.m. ||

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