Logic has no imagination
"Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?
"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada
"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant
"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan
"Sometimes...
only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"
- Nike
"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."
"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Lyrics:
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
[chorus]
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams
I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight
[chorus]
You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean
[chorus]
And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
dont EVER questions whether i prayed 'earnestly' enough.. just because you pray for something doesnt mean God will give to you...
i was going to drop F-bombs today.. oh my goodness... my raging self is arising again..
i always told my friends not to be weak... but i admit... i am weak right now... maybe not majorly weak, but weak nonetheless...
i give advice to my friends constantly... and i always envision that if they do what i tell them to, it would work out for the best... i mean, why would i give bad advice to friends... but then... im incapable of following the advice i give out.. i can never follow my own for some reason... is it cause i cant convince myself? i think it's just that it's THAT much harder to do it... talk is cheap.. and action speaks louder than words... but it's so difficult to pull off... just at that moment, it's tough... i need to follow my own advice more..
so i've been sleeping at 4am, 2am, 3am these past days in hamilton... it's 240am as i type right now.. and im back in mississauga... really funny actually... my friend has been sleeping late lately as well, and i tell him that the troubled ones always sleep later than their usual times... i need to start applying my own concepts/theories/laws to myself... it just never dawns on me...
in my room in hamilton, it feels so weird to be there... new house, new room, new desk, new atmosphere, new feeling... weird feeling... lost feeling.. confused feeling... i've been overthinking these days i guess.. kinda really deja vu... cause i used to overthink/overdwell/overanalyze all the time.. i always thought i outgrew that/matured out of that phase.. but old habits are hard to break... no matter how hard it is or how long it has taken, old and/or bad habits can break back out spontaneously... sometimes it cant be controlled...
there's so much hope for ccf this year.. but so much disappointment can loom as well.. i have this... negative gut instinct bout it... i hope im wrong..
my dad gave me this talk bout how i have to be serious and try hard this year... .and actually give a damn bout my marks... i wasted my 1st year academically really.. some ppl would still die for the marks i got last year... but... they were no up to my par... my marks have never been... they never reach triple digits... other than 1 course last year... i feel like i can achieve that much more... if only i gave the effort... my new theme for this year/school year is to be redetermined and refocused, so that i can fully concentrate my efforts in everything i do... my theme last year was: mission.. that i was on a mission to prove others wrong about me... that i could prove to myself that i could do some stuff in the summer.. i think overall, it was successful... we'll see bout this year's theme...
my serious/thoughtful side is showing more... but ppl are caught off guard by it.. amusing in a weird sense... it'll go away soon enough... ppl shouldnt see it... it's not for them to see... i must maintain my funny/joking/jerk type image... its what ppl are used to seeing and expecting.. must not disappoint the audience
i havent had many regretful summers for a while.. last one was maybe in 2000? but yeh, i feel some regrets this summer.. i achieved a lot.. but i could've achieved more.. there were some sacrifices made.. there were some cowardly moments... hmm.. hopefully it works out for the best...
so determination and focus is they key for the foreseeable future... heart is always the most important thing.. then mind.. then talent.. the talent is always there.. just gotta use it.. but it's hard to achieve my full potential when the heart and mind are elsewhere..
[exeunt]
p.s. i speak my own language... most of you will decipher this one way... selected others can interpret this the way i do... have fun
