Logic has no imagination
"Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?
"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada
"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant
"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan
"Sometimes...
only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"
- Nike
"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."
"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Lyrics:
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
[chorus]
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams
I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight
[chorus]
You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean
[chorus]
And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
im done my exams finally.. 1st year is over (pending i pass every requirement).. i should be happy and relieved and looking forward to summer.. the keyword there is SHOULD... there seems like there's so much more i want to experience.. half of me wants to go on to summer and softball and fun... but the other half wants to continue on in mac.. to continue hanging with my friends.. continue experiencing what i've experienced for 8 months... im such an indecisive person... i will miss mcmaster for the next 4 months... that im sure of...
i keep thinking it's 2003... but im happy and i thank God that it isnt... out of the blue in the midst of this 'studying' (ha, yeh, ok), i recalled what happened during this time period last year... in short, i was a jackass and that made my life miserable... cause and effect... and i thank God of where i am and who i am today
if anybody asked me in september, before i attended university, how i would be come the start of may, i'd answer: "the same, im me.. will never change".. how foolish of me... i cant believe how much i've changed and evolved (matured?) these past 8 months at mac... i simply cant believe it..
i claim that im able to remember everything and anything... but the truth is... i cant, not even close... all the ppl who have impacted me my whole life, i cant remember all of em... the grads who are gone from mac now... they've impacted me in such a big way the past 8 months.. but sooner or later, i will forget what these ppl have done for me... thats the thing with memories... they'll be gone at one time or another... nothing is forever.. check that... almost nothing is forever...
but i dislike moving on very much indeed... i guess it never really affected me every year... i wasnt sad when i changed to a new school from sk to gr 1 cause i didnt really have any friends... when gr 5 ended, i was semi sad that i wouldnt see my teachers again, but everybody was basically going to the same junior high school... end of gr 8, i got kind of sad because some of my friends were going to a diff high school but still... most ppl were going to the same high school... it wasnt really all that sad when it was the end of gr 12.. i mean... i got to hang out with the same friends almost everyday in the summer... we still had our time together... even though we were going to diff universities, we were still all in mississauga, still able to come together, and still do, when we get the chance...
but now it's the end of 1st year university... its not even the end of university and yet im sad.. im sad because i may never see some ppl again.. i guess the diff here is that i'm friends with ppl not the same age as me.. these ppl have impacted my life so much... they're such good role models... if i could be half as good as them, as spiritual as them, i'd be satisfied... i guess i'll be feeling this way every year of university life i guess... i'm just so sad to see the grads go... its not like i can see them all back in mississauga whenever... everybody's so dispersed... some are going to europe, some to western canada, some to other universities in ontario for MORE education (for some weird reason, ha), and some are working/looking for work, heh....
i had my last small group meeting yesterday... that itself is sad... even though most ppl there will be back next year, i know we wont all go to the same small group... we wont be a family, be 1 unit anymore.. we're basically breaking up... its just that i had such a good time... even at the last meeting, i learn something more bout ppl... like nic.. we had sharing time and i loved every single minute.. ppl open up and are brutally honest.. and i see so much encouraging signs in ppl... nic shared some of his experiences and how he has 11 fails on his transcript, but that doesnt deter him from life... he knows what hes not good at it, and he ACCEPTS it.. i cant do that.. these ppl have just evolved and learned from life... and im here, being the same person every single day... maybe i need to change... i've learned so much.. honestly i have... but i dont APPLY it.. we had warm fuzzies at small group as well.. basically, we write goodbye notes to each person... and everybody gives me such encouraging warm fuzzies.. yet i know it's next to impossible for me to live up to their 'vision' of me...
life is all bout phases... from 1 phase to another... it seems that the phases come and go by faster when im older.. and as i grow older, it seems that it's even harder for me to move on to the next phase... its like i dont wanna grow up... i just want everything to bestatus quo... for everything to be the same so that i can be satisfied, and not have to adjust to NEWness...
time sure flies by quickly.. the past 8 months feels like 8 mins.. before i know it, i'll be on my deathbed... maybe i should cherish what i have... live life to the fullest each day? stop being such a lazy pathetic ass? maybe...
