Logic has no imagination
"Failing isn't the end of the world. Quitting is."
- moi?
"At the end of this, no one will remember what you said. But people will remember what you do."
- Arthur Smith, C.E.O. of GS1 Canada
"i want what all men want. i just want it more."
- Kobe Bryant
"Heart is what separates the good from the great"
- Michael Jordan
"Sometimes...
only the struggle makes it worth it...
only the pain makes it sweet...
and only victory is the answer"
- Nike
"When that blood gets riled up, you're still going to see some of what they say is immaturity."
"It's not what you know. It's what you can prove."
-Denzel Washington in Training Day
Lyrics:
Kanye West - I Wonder
Find your dreams come true
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
[chorus]
And I wonder if you know
What it means, what it means
And I wonder if you know
What it means to find your dreams
I've been waiting on this my whole life
These dreams be waking me up at night
You say I think I'm never wrong
You know what, maybe you're right, aight
[chorus]
You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean
[chorus]
And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's primetime
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the house without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about
On that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You ever wonder if you'll find your dreams
Saturday, February 28, 2004
come one, come all!
announcing Hamilton Chinese Christian Fellowship's semi-annual coffeehouse/evangelistical meeting titled "Sufficient".. tis on this coming friday, march 5, 2004 at 730pm in gilmour hall 111... doors open at 7.. please do come =)
honestly... why do i care what ppl say... i dont know.. i need to stop caring... i just need to stop.. i cant let others' opinions bother me anymore...
im so tired.. i just played ball.. i sucked like crap.. i didnt have the energy, the vision, the skill, the touch, the feel, the flow..
i have to sleep... right bout now.. since i have to wake up round 7 for a badminton tournament at u of t scarbrough.. and i know im gonna suck at that.. the last time i played regularly and in a tournament was in april at ropssaa for high school.. i dont have the confidence in me to do well..
current achievements during reading week: none... im dead
ppl cant seem to accept change.. ppl expect others to be the same.. they dont allow others to evolve.. to change.. to adapt.. if others dont act the way they want, the way they use to, they are unaccepted... they are disrespected..
theres only 3 possibilities if you dont forgive and forget..
[case 1] not forgetting nor forgiving
the memory of the situation is still vivid in your mind.. you remember it all the time very easily.. you still have the anger/hate/whatever emotion inside of you.. you are not at ease at all with the situation.. you're a wreck waiting to happen..
[case 2] forgetting but not forgiving
forgetting is such a temporary thing.. psych has taught me that everything is in long term memory.. it just needs to be triggered.. not forgiving something means that the anger/hate/whatever emotion you felt is still somewhere inside of you waiting to be unleashed.. and someone is gonna feel it..
[case 3] forgiving but not forgetting
i dont think this case is possible.. as i now believe forgiving requires forgetting.. if you dont forget, that means it's still in your memory bothering you... meaning you havent really forgiven.. you just say you've forgiven.. what you say and what you mean are two different things...
but forgetting something is extremely hard to do.. the event/controversy/issue can be triggered with the right cue.. so does this mean we dont actually forgive? we only say we forgive? we lie to ourselves? what's the deal..
sitting here in my apartment res facing a 15" laptop playing POINTLESS games that will lead me NOWHERE when i have a calculus test tomorrow that i know absolutely NOTHING of, i've figured out why i slack off all this time.. my goals are set way too high.. i can never achieve them.. whatever happens, i'll end up disappointing someone.. myself or my parents basically.. i can never live up to anybody's expectations.. they dont say it out in the open, but i know they have high expectations.. they expect me to be able to be like my cousins and being able to graduate from university and find a solid job and such.. maybe i'm just choking under all this pressure.. but i cant live up to any of the expectations.. im so demoralized now that i'm losing my cockiness... the confidence that i can pull it out no matter what... its not a sure thing to me anymore.. i dont know why.. i cant handle this pressure.. it's been too many school years of pressure.. take it all away.. please..
i know some ppl will tell me to enjoy life, relax, and that God has His plans for me.. but i cant.. God is not the focus point of my life these days.. it's been a while.. im as disappointed as He is.. i dunno what's dragging me away from Him.. help? please?
it happens to me periodically.. and.. it's so weird.. it's like.. i've seen this before.. but i cant put my finger on it.. my memory's too faint to recall it accurately or to confirm that this has happened before...
does it really exist?
deja vu's a really weird feeling.. glitch in the matrix? haha..
i see some ppl are so easily amused these days... ppl seem to get along with everybody so well... everybody looks happy..
then why am i not? what am i doing differently from every other person i see... of course, i could be all wrong.. i mean, these ppl i see only appear to be easily amused, only appear to get along with everybody, and only appear to be happy... maybe they're hiding it all inside of themselves.. but lets be hypothetical and assume that they are what they appear to be... what am i doing wrong, what am i doing different from these ppl? why cant i get along with everybody.. what cant i be happy..
